*WELCOME TO MY LIFE*

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The life of every man,

is a diary..

In which he means to write one story,

and writes another.

plugin&play Music tells you a lot of things.. Though, not everything. But it tells you something. :) Music Playlist at MixPod.com I love this place but it's haunted without you. I'm here to stay.
Truth hurts, but I live with it. I am Fadilah Jasmani AKA Fadz, I have my own beliefs, I have faith in me and I believe that truth hurts.	Tuesday, April 28, 2009, 4/28/2009 02:47:00 PM Takin' Back My Love Enrique: Go ahead and just leave, can't hold you, you're free You take all these things if they mean so much to you I gave you your dreams cause you meant the world So did I deserve to be left here hurt? Enrique: You think I don't know you're out of control I ended up finding all of this from my boys Girl.. You're stone cold, you say it ain't so You already know I'm not attached to material Enrique: I'd give it all up, I'm takin' back my love I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love, my love.. Ciara: What did I do but give love to you I'm just confused as I stand here and look at you From head to feet, all that's not me Go 'head keep the keys, that's not what I need from you Ciara: You think that you know Enrique: I do Ciara: You've made yourself cold Enrique: Oh yeah? Ciara: How could you believe them over me? I'm your girl. You're out of control Enrique: So what? Ciara: How could you let go.. Enrique: Oh yeah? Ciara: Don't you know I'm not attached to materials? Ciara & Enrique: I'd give it all up, I'm takin' back my love I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love, my love.. Enrique: So all this love I give you, take it away Ciara: You think material's the reason I came Enrique: If I had nothing would you want me to stay? Ciara: You keep your money, take it all away.. Hmm.. So both of them were to blame. Enrique, for accusing his girl.. Ciara because she was confused!?!? Hehe. Wah.. Bagos eh sume lagu mesti ade kene-mengene. Tapi video ni sedih ye.. Tsk2. nangis ;) Monday, April 27, 2009, 4/27/2009 03:09:00 AM Katy Perry's Video Watching Thinking Of You - Katy Perry video clip, and I'm really touched. It's so UNsuitable for kids.. Haha. But for real, I love to watch the video especially when it comes to the part when she cried when she was putting on her lipstick. I can, somehow, feel what she was trying to tell.. Her love is so strong, when she kissed the second, but it tasted just like the first. How I'd wish I could be as lucky as the first.. ;) dream on, Fadz. And stop dreaming, cause a happy ending life isn't as easy as daydreaming. HeE~ Comparisons are easily done Once you've had a taste of perfection Like an apple hanging from a tree I picked the ripest one, I still got a seed You said move on Where do I go I guess second best Is all I will know Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you, thinking of you What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes You're like an Indian summer in the middle of a winter Like a hard candy with a surprise center How do I get better once I've had the best You said there's tons of fish in the water so the waters I will test He kissed my lips I taste your mouth He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself You're the best and yes I do regret How I could let myself if let you go Now the lesson's learned, I touched it I was burned Oh I think you should know - Katy Perry Sunday, April 26, 2009, 4/26/2009 01:58:00 PM Aquarius Horoscope Daily Overview For April 25th; "Let people from your past stay in your past for now. They offer nothing but drama." Haha. I was so shocked when I read this.. No wonder I keep thinking about the past these few days. It's no joke, but it IS a drama. When every single thing flashes back, like a serial drama, and you keep thinking about it, reminiscing over it. "Yati, diam je ko.. Aku msg, ko tak reply. Aku call, ko tak angkat.. Ko sihat ke? Aku tahu ko mesti bace blog aku, sebab ko cakap ko bace hari2. Hehe. At least, give us a call, dear.. Kite rindu ko tau! Next week, kebanyakannye kite same hours ye.. Bersamela kite. ;) papepon, ko take care! Love you, friend." Okeayp. Going to grandma's house later at 4, I guess with ma&pa. =D tomorrow working 10-3, don't think I can sleep over. Life has changed a lot. Got better things to do compared to the "breakup period". Hehe. Got my mIo! OKLA, kalau nak dibandingkan ngan Starhub Cable, ade Football Channel ngan MTV kan. Hmph~ anyway, aku tetap suke.. Sebab banyak documentaries. Haha. Macam channel baru pat Starhub Cable tu, History. ye tak, Farah? :p Aku nga menikmati Nasi Ayam Goreng ni.. Sampai jumpe lagi! =D Saturday, April 25, 2009, 4/25/2009 12:44:00 AM Favourite Songs If Yati watched this video clip, Demi Cinta by Kerispatih and she broke down and cried, so do I, when listening to Suara (Ku Berharap) by Hijau Daun, I cried and cry.. Maaf ku telah menyakitimu Ku telah kecewakanmu Bahkan ku sia-siakan hidupku Dan ku balut kau seperti diriku Walau hati ini terus menangis Menahan kesakitan ini Tapi ku lakukan semua Demi cinta Akhirnya juga harus ku relakan Kehilangan cinta sejatiku Segalanya telah ku berikan Juga semua kekuranganku Jika memang ini yang terbaik Untuk diriku dan dirinya Kan ku terima semua Demi cinta Jujur Aku tak kuasa saat terakhirku genggam tanganmu Namun yang pasti terjadi Kita mungkin tak bersama lagi Bila nanti esok hari Ku temukan dirimu bahagia Izinkan aku titipkan kisah cinta kita Selamanya.. Di sini aku masih sendiri Menempuhi hari-hari sepi Aku tanpamu Masih tanpamu Bila esok hari datang lagi Ku cuba untuk hadapi semua ini Meski tanpamu Meski tanpamu Bila aku dapat bintang yang berpijar Mentari yang tenang bersamaku di sini Ku dapat tertawa, menangis, merenung Di tempat ini aku bertahan Suara.. Dengarkanlah aku Apa kabarnya pujaan hatiku? Aku di sini menunggunya masih berharap Di dalam hatinya Suara.. Dengarkanlah aku Apakah aku selalu di hatinya? Aku di sini menunggunya masih berharap Di dalam hatinya Kalau aku masih tetap di sini Melewati semua yang terjadi Aku menunggumu Aku menunggu.. These two songs, eh.. Very meaningful. Yep. The first time I listened to Demi Cinta from Fad's hp, I was like.. "makeih, lagu lambat sangat.." haha. But guess what, I kept listening to it a few days later. Hehehe. ;) same goes to Suara, "Yati, irritating plak lagu ko ni.." tapi aku tak tahu eh lagunye bermakne. Maafla ye.. =p Anyway, I keep listening to this song.. I put it on repeat, everywhere I go, I listen to this song. Even if I'm scheduled for doing the bar. Hahaha. ;) Wednesday, April 22, 2009, 4/22/2009 03:55:00 PM Outings Went out to Clarke & Boat Quay with Farah, Yati and Nurul. Had fun, great time.. Though we went to Pitstop for only 45 mins. Haha. We walked from The Central to Circular Road. We sweated like hell.. We reached Pitsop 10:20pm and that place closes at 11pm! SR APT held a BBQ pit at Tanglin Halt last week. We were running here and there, played catching with Salihin. Hahaha. Sweated like hell also! Cause I helped Doris started the fire. Guess what? We should've planned for more outings so we can spend our time together. Like we played soccer yesterday.. With Doris, Fad, Farah, Nurul, Yati and Zali. Haha. Zali was the top scorer!! Wah. ;) Fad, ko nak step kaki bangku je.. Ko kaki tikos ah sey~ hahaha. Only now do I realise, why God has sent me to SR APT family. Because God has planned something which is not good for me (but the best for Him), and He knows well I can't make it alone. So this family here have always supported me, since the day I was really down until these days that I've became stronger and stronger each day. Zali watched me and the others grow up.. I'm thankful to have you all with me. Including the adeks2, like Salihin. From budak kental to abang macho~ =p hahaha. ;) love y'll.. , 4/22/2009 02:27:00 PM For You, Fuad I don't know what you're thinking. Now you're talking about respect.. How about, I respect the way you've changed your thinking and decided to do this? What about now, you accept the way I've changed my own belief and sacrifice myself for this? And respect it? How about that? *"You eh, bile I cakap.. You tak faham. Ape yang I buat, you SALAH faham..* *Skarang ape yang you nak tahu, yang bole buat you puas?* *You nak I bilang sume orang pat sini, yang I tinggalkan you? Yang I tak balas msg2 you..?* *Huh?* *Ke you nak I bilang yang I buat sume ni sebab you?* *Sebab prangai you yang pentingkan kebahagiaan sendiri?* *Mane satu?* *Ke you nak tahu sangat keadaan I skarang..?* *Puas hati you, buat kite camni??* *Puas hati you buat I percayekan janji2 you abe skarang you camni?* *Puas hati you buat I terpakse makan janji2 I sendiri sebab I tak tahu pade sape yang I berjanji?* *Eh, you.. I sayangkan you walau APE PON you buat pat I. You tahu tak?! You sedar tak?!* *Hati you tu da bute dari keikhlasan I. Hati you tu da kabor, dari nampak diri I skarang..* *Jadi I pohon eh, FUAD. I pohon.. Skarang I tengah blaja camne nak berdiri sendiri.* *Tolongla, dengan pertolongan you untok tak ungkit2 crite lame, I bole blaja berdikari.* *I slalu doa you bahagie.. Bagosla kalau you bahagie.* *Kite selesaikan sampai sini, k..* *Ape yang I pernah rase terhadap you, I maseh rase sampai saat ni.* *Kalau ade satu mase I rindu sangat pat you, I tengah rase skarang ni.* *Same rasenye bile I nangis mase you berubah, I rase detik ni.* *Tapi I tanak you lagi, tanak kenal, tanak tahu..* *I harap you faham hati ni."* Saturday, April 18, 2009, 4/18/2009 09:57:00 PM Diva La Futbol Guess what? Diva La is on its way! Haha. I've been participating Diva La Futbol competitions since 2006. Last year tournament was great.. Even though we lost quite a number of matches, haha! But I still love my teammates. I miss to go training with them at NTU! macam paham =D "Yati! Aku smangat ni ye.. Carik bende yang kite bole buat untok isi mase yang terbuang! Haha. Siak je.. Amek ko! Aku carik banyak2, jangan ko tak larat eh. =p" Just came back from Woodland Library. Have to finish up reading this 2 books on design.. Doing some research on it. macam paham lagik k, guys. Chaoz~ , 4/18/2009 01:17:00 AM Pissed Off! "Next time you are upset, remember it's not so much, people make you angry as your thoughts about them. Whatever thoughts are causing you pain, they are only thoughts. YOU can change a thought!" - Andrew Matthews Though silence is a text easy to misread, but I think that's better. There's no use saying anything, the fact is, I'm so pissed off. But I'm keeping it. Shit! Whateverla, sometimes you just can't trust anyone, even if it's your own 'blood'. Thursday, April 16, 2009, 4/16/2009 12:39:00 PM SMS Haha. "So u think I'm a desperado. Too bad.. My only intention is to know if you still talk nonsense abt me." "I was so decent tt I fell in love with someone like you." "Don't be arrogant with ur life now.. It won't last long." "Because of love, I become stronger." "Never looked down on people who had sacrificed a lot for you." "Me, myself and I truly understand who I am." "No grudges." Hey, babe.. I won't talk nonsense about you, it's you who act nonsensically makes people talk bad about you. And WOW, you were SO decent that time? So right now, are you telling me that you regret falling for me over the past 8 years?? Haha. You must be joking! Crazy. imagine Zali's tone I'm arrogant (cause you made me) but I don't go talk to people that 'I REGRET HAVING YOU ALL THESE YEARS.' I showed them how I'm proud to have you. Because of the heartbreaking love you've made me feel, I become stronger, matured. You? Now that you're matured enough (to you), know how to love and be loved (you're loved by me, and don't talk about sacrifices with me la, dear. You don't know a thing..) Now that you've just became a matured person, so you suddenly realise that you should've find someone new+better, and be a new+good lover. Good for you, then.. I just hope that, at the end of the day, that person won't suffer from heart injury just like me. =p Don't contradict your sayings la, dear.. You smsed me, no grudges. Then you've been telling me all these while.. My life now won't last long. Haiz. Luckily you answer for me that you, yourself and you know who you are. Because I don't know you anymore, and I don't care to know which type of person you have turned yourself into. *Jadi aku hanye tempat persinggahan pertame, untuk kau pelajari tentang CINTE. Sekarang bile kau telah merasekan dirimu hebat berganding dengannye, kau berlalu begitu saje.. =)* "I remember when my heart BROKE I remember when I GAVE UP loving you My heart couldn't take no more of you I WAS sad and lonely.. I remember when I walked out I remember when I SAID 'I hated you' but somehow deep inside still loving you So sad and lonely.." - Keyshia Cole , 4/16/2009 01:21:00 AM So Annoyed By You Wow, I can see that you could catch me WHEREVER I go.. Erk? Why do you sound so, .. Desperate? Tsk2, I thought you ARE so proud to live without me and soOo contented that I was the one who made the first move. So, I guess.. I thought wrong? Or, you did wrong..? If I were you la, dear.. I'm ashamed of myself. If I did hurt somebody, I would've really apologized to that person and I'll feel guilty all my life. Don't go swagger around, talk big about love when you don't understand A thing, k dear? =) Having flu~ but to sleep early, I don't think so. Cause tonight is my big day. Haha. macam paham. ManU vs FC Porto, let's just pray for ManU. Hidop ManU, Yati~ =p hahaha. Tired thinking about you, messing around with my life. Lucky I got no issues with my heart and mind anymore wether to leave you or not. Thank God, He gives me strength and fortitude to really make things happen. And it did, and I'm free. =) Wednesday, April 15, 2009, 4/15/2009 02:42:00 AM Chelsea vs Liverpool Chelsea vs Liverpool Ahh. I thought it was ManU vs FC Porto! Wasting my time sitting in front of the tv and just got to know it's Liverpool vs Chelsea. Ceh :S well, it's like 'quite' obvious Chelsea will win this time with the aggregate 3-1 (1st Leg). Don't want to talk about it, since Nurul's a fan of Liverpool and I'm like pretty sure Chelsea could make it to the semi-final. Too bad, though.. Working at 6 tomorrow. I'm soOo bored right now.. Really need to do something. Feel like sleeping but I want to watch them play! Ahh. "I know what I have given you, but I do not know what you have received.." - Antonio Porchia Saturday, April 11, 2009, 4/11/2009 01:33:00 AM P/S: I'm Over You Playing Sudoku right now.. And the mind is really focusing on the numbers (1-9). HeE~ giler. I think I'm going crazy.. Having this blurred vision everytime I take off my spec. Adeih~ Well, not working tomorrow. Going to my grandma's house. She's still sick, but getting better, I guess. Insya Allah la eh.. =D Anyway, I've promised not to dwell on the past, right? Hehe. I really need a few minutes to talk about it. Haha. Really2 have to.. If that person were to drop by this blog, at least, if you could 'catch me' la! boring2~ haha. I got something for you.. You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down, but wait.. You tell me that YOU'RE SORRY, didn't think I'd turn around..? And say that.. IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE? - One Republic & Timbaland Wednesday, April 8, 2009, 4/08/2009 11:16:00 PM The Call Federico Macheda & Cristiano Ronaldo I just can't believe Manchester United didn't make it through yesterday with FC Porto. I'm SooOoo disappointed with Ronaldo! cey, macam paham but really, I did feel that they could win the match if this Ronaldo gave his best! And.. I think, if Sir Alex could actually let Macheda joined the game last night, could've been better. Well, I know Manchester United's triumph over Aston Villa could be just as lucky as I get into the art school, but still?? Hmph! I was so frustrated yesterday because I watched the match and I was like, talking to myself.. "I know you guys can do it..", "this is not ManU!", "guys, come on..", "at least another goal~" hahahx. Lame. I don't know why.. But I used to sing this song a lot in the past when I was missing someone who was so close to me. "Waiting for your call I'm sick, I'm angry, I'm desperate for your voice Listening to the song we used to sing in the car.." - Secondhand Serenade However, I find myself singing to this these days.. When I'm missing someone who is in my past. =) "Don't call me even if I should cross your mind Hard enough, I don't need to hear your voice on my messages Let's just call it quits, it's probably better.." - Jesse McCartney , 4/08/2009 01:16:00 AM "Makcik2 Kepo" Title Done with my 12-10 shift these 3 consecutive days. Fuh~ guess what? Dropped the cake plate just now, wait! I didn't do it on purpose, k. It was SooOoo unintentionally, when I was talking to Farah, well, I think more to gossiping with her, and the cake plate like, "ting~~~". Hahaha. And Zali was like, "korang eh, memang macam makcik2 kepo. Ade je nak bergosip.. Sebab tu korang takle keje same2 tau!" imagine Zali's tone hahaha. =D it was so funny, but I did apologise, k. ;) The other reason why we are entitled to "makcik2 kepo" is, when just now I saw Farah's ex-classmate (which she has already forgotten some of them :p) and I called Farah from work to inform her, and we were like.. "eh?", "ko tahu..", "ye ke?", "ahuh.." Hahaha! =D siak je. Rabak.. Anyway, at first I felt guilty doing this.. And having a second thought of making a right decision, makes me feel better in a way, though. So, yeah.. God knows well. Monday, April 6, 2009, 4/06/2009 01:57:00 AM Doing Just Fine "There was a time when I thought life was over and out, when you went away from me My dying heart made it hard to breathe Would sit in my room because I didn't want to have to go out and see you walking by One look and I'd break right down and cry Now you say that you made a big mistake, never meant to take your love away But you can save your tired apologies cause it may seem hard to believe.. But I'm doin' just fine, getting along very well without you in my life I don't need you in my life I'm doin' just fine, time made me stronger You're no longer on my mind You were my earth, my number one priority I gave my love to only you, anything you'd ask of me I would do But somewhere down the road you felt a change in the weather and told me, that you had to journey on a kiss in the wind and your love was gone Now, you say you never meant to play your games Girl don't you know it's far too late? Because you let our love just fall apart You no longer have my heart.. When you said goodbye, I felt so all alone There were times at night I couldn't sleep, my heart was much too weak to make it on my own Baby, after all the misery and pain you put me through, so unfair to me girl, you're no longer my world and I ain't missin' you at all See, baby when you walked away, you didn't think it would end up this way But I knew you'd be coming 'round someday just as sure as my name is Wanya.." - Boyz II Men Saturday, April 4, 2009, 4/04/2009 01:34:00 AM Crush or Crash? Some say it's kinda fun, and some say it isn't.. At all. Same goes to me.. Sometimes I think it's cool, but sometimes I think it's so woeful. Irritated and annoyed, anyway.. Adeih~ guess what? Me, myself don't really quite understand the situation. Haha. It's okay, though.. "I wish you the best And I wish you nothing less And everything you ever dreamed of I hope that you find love along the way.." - Brad Paisley Talked to Zali just now.. Well, she said, that I don't have the 'power'.. It's charm, actually what she meant, hmph! To get what I want.. And I did contemplate about it, but decided to just go with the flow. I just don't want to think about it, too much, I mean.. I want it to be more relaxed, laid-back. ;) heE~ Sleepy.. Tired. stretching Thursday, April 2, 2009, 4/02/2009 05:11:00 PM Trip To KL KLCC Guess what? We've been planning since yesterday for our not-sure-yet trip to KL. Hahaha. Farah asked Yati and me to go with her and her family to KL this June to celebrate her birthday. Argh! As if my mum will let me go.. Deh? Hmph~ I should just give it a try, anyway. ;) hahax. I've started working since that Monday. Still love my job, though.. :p I just miss working with all my collegues. My off day.. Hmm. Did some cleaning and washing.. Thought of neatening my wardrobe. But I think I'll do it on Saturday.. yawn		theonewhospeaks Everyday passes by, I learn something new. This is me, I am me. FadzFadz. Hehe! =D		partnersinblogger Farah Yati Nurul Sasha Sakinah Ainul Nirwana Fatin Asiah Bad Nabilah Sri Shahidah S Zackya Nadiah Syirul Nurvena Yi Ping Dasiree Rachael backtoyesterday + Holiday! + Time Will Tell. + Sharing Is Caring! ;) + Confession + Resident Evil + Assessment. + When You Try Your Best.. + Yesterday. + Tournament. + HACKER! wheni'mgone + March 2009 + April 2009 + May 2009 + June 2009 + July 2009 + August 2009 + September 2009 + October 2009 + November 2009 + December 2009 + January 2010 + February 2010 + March 2010 + May 2010 + June 2010 + July 2010 + August 2010 + September 2010 + October 2010 + November 2010 takeabow An accidentality production Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D		thechatbox